Top Five Annoying Breath of the Wild Moments

RAIN!

The sole purpose of rain seems to be to ruin the experience for the player. It serves no useful purpose, can’t be gotten around, makes climbing impossible (and as BOTW is basically climbing simulator 2017, that’s a problem) and you can’t even wait it out with a fire unless you’ve got a sheltered spot. Which you probably don’t. Also, it rains more in BOTW than it does in Britain. And that’s problematic. Most of the NPCs should be suffering from mood disorders based on lack of vit D.

THE BLOOD MOON GLITCH

Linkkk… Link… the blood moon is rising again….

For the twelfth time in ten minutes. I have seen the blood moon rise at every possible time of the day, sometimes several times in a row. The obtrusive, unskippable cut scene doesn’t help either. We get it, the monsters are back.

CUT SCENES

Hey, if you want to cook a meal, you have to listen to the doobly doo wavy lines music after every dish. Have 90 stamella shrooms that you’d really like to turn into stamina food? Well, that will be 18 doobily doos for you to sit through, and the ‘x’ to skip button just gives you an annoying black screen, so that’s much the same thing.

OOHHH… OHHHH… AHHH…

I get that there isn’t room on the cartridge for a bunch of voice acting, but an acceptable substitute isn’t getting voice actors to sigh, gasp and chuckle and then play them at random. If I’m selling 20 items, I don’t need a squeaky voiced ‘oooohhh’ ‘aaaah’ after every item. I also wanted to throw the old man off the tower every time he said ‘oho ho’. Shut. Up. Already

Speaking of annoying noises:

Zelda’s overly breathy high pitched voice makes me want to let Ganon just eat her already.

And…

THE SHEIKAH SLATE BOUNCES WITH EVERY STEP

You can’t take a truly quiet step in this game because apparently Link runs around with a heavy slate clanking against his hip repeatedly. He wears the Sheikah slate like a 90’s flip phone. Dork.

GANON IS THE END (Spoiler?)

Once you beat Ganon, there’s nothing more to the game aside from a star on your save file (which reverts to before you fought him) and some harder monsters to do battle with. You’ve battled hard to see Hyrule restored, but guess what? Nope! The moral of the story is Hyrule is forever screwed.

This is typical of Zelda titles, but it would have been nice to have a GTAV style ‘keep playing’ mechanic, maybe with Zelda in the castle without all the swirly pink and red stuff.

Which brings me to my final gripe:

WHAT IS THE POINT!?

This is a game about a hero who never saves the day, a princess who is always in another castle, and a villain who shapes the world whether you fight him or not. All of your efforts are transient, inherently meaningless and probably soggy.





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