Rules of Hyrule: Understanding the World Of BOTW

IN A WORLD AT WAR, YOU CANNOT BUY WEAPONS (EXCEPT FOR ARROWS)

Hyrule 2017 is a world in which weaponry has no value and cannot be bought or sold, which is a bit weird considering all the monsters literally everywhere dropping their guts. It also can’t be made. It can, however, be destroyed in 5-6 hits. Which is why the knights of old used to go around with wagonloads of swords because swords are known for shattering into a million pieces after the third enemy they encounter.

The exception to this is arrows, which can be bought. Because, of course, reasons.

FAIRIES NEED YOUR MONEY

Fairies run on rupees, because without money, what is the point of faith. Giant scantily dressed ladies appearing from the center of watery floral ponds to upgrade your armor is no way to run a kingdom. Which is fine, because Hyrule isn’t actually run as a kingdom because:

NOBODY IS IN CHARGE

Hyrule had a king once, but then Ganon came and now it’s just perpetual chaos, which is fine because everybody sits at home in their villages or sometimes their circus tent stables, which brings me to the ULTIMATE BREATH OF THE WILD SECRET:

MONSTERS ARE AFRAID OF CLOWNS

This is why even though there are always hordes of monsters around every stable, they leave the people inside alone. It’s not the flimsy fabric keeping them out. It’s the possibility of clowns.





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